I"m a little bit of everything today! I'm excited b/c tomorrow I"m 30 weeks which means It's getting close! I'm also excited to go shopping with my mom and because it's Friday wich means relaxing with Gary (even though I'm still a bit aggitated at him for aggitating me TWICE this week...) and not having to hear the alarm tomorrow morning. I'm excited for Jennifer to celebrate the first birthday of her little man. I know how special that day was for me and I know it is for her as well. I'm excited for Lori to get to go on her trip soon and get away. Literally in so many ways. I"m excited b/c today was a dr. appt and I got to hear Princess Bush's heartbeat. Don't worry, we are not naming her that. I was thinking of naming her Lavendar Rose Bush... Thoughts? I'm also excited because I'm keeping lots of really good secrets and it's fun to be the one in the know even if there's really no one to tell. :) I'm also stressed. We are leaving for the other side of the country in TWO weeks and there is much to be done, plus the house needs to be imaculate for mom's arrival in the morning. Tyler is getting some type of illness which includes mucus in his eyes that stumped the lady who answered the phone at his pediatrician office. Is it ok that this freaked me out? I'm also stressed because I have exactly 6 weeks to decide how I want this baby born. That leads us to the emotion of terror. The doctor I saw today said that she would absolutely recommend a C-section. 4 other doctors including the one who delivered Tyler said that while there was a chance of a repeat of the first time, there was a larger chance my body would just know what to do and I'd be fine. Thid doctor seems to think I could experience irreversable, unreparable damage to things that just should not be damaged. Can we say panic? My thought is that I could be induced and be sure to get a doctor who knows my situation and my feelings and have a better chance of things being controled, but i've heard nothing but horror stories about being induced... so here's your chance moms= I want to hear your birth stories. Every ugly detail because i certainly can't make this kind of decision myself! Poor Gary. He's going to hear about this for sure.... So yea, we are all over the map today! The best part of the day was that I got to hold 5 month old Baby Jacob. A cousin of mine and he's just sweet as can be. At the end of the day, beyond all the fears and feelings both emotional and physical- all I want is my baby girl born safe and healthy, and I want to be healthy enough to take care of her and be the best mom I know how to be. It's what I was made for. To be a mom to her and my Tyler. My angel. The boy who always knows when I need a hug and a slobbery kiss and the distraction of playing trains, coloring, chasing leaves and bubbles, and just being in the moment. I'm blessed beyond measure to have more than one 'love of my life'.